I don’t know if it’s ocd related, or if it was being told all through out school that I didn’t try hard enough…fuck you school…or what it might be, but I find my self being a perfectionist. Not about others though, just myself. I don’t understand it at all. On one hand I believe I’m a loser, and on the other I come down really hard on myself for messing up or not achieving what I think I should be able to. Contradictory, I know.
Here’s a thought: What if everyday you do your best and let it be? Easier said than done of course. Maybe Monday just sucks and the best you can do it eat twice and not get off the couch. Maybe Tuesday is the same, but maybe Wednesday you go out and do grocery shopping after work and get some steps in for the day. That’s something, right? Maybe not for some people, but if you’ve had a long day, or if you struggle with mood and or anxiety then fuck yeah that’s something.
People need to get off their high horses once in a while and realize their perspective is not the only one. Maybe for them going out after work for a drink is nothing, but for you it’s something big. And maybe you’re not really good cook and they suck. I guess what I’m trying to say is just because they excel at the things you struggle with doesn’t make them better than you. It makes them fortunate.
I don’t know how to make that transition from all or nothing to accepting things as they are other than to make a conscious effort to be aware of how we treat ourselves.