After fighting with my mum last week we didn’t speak as much as usual. Today she invited me out to dinner with her and her boyfriend and his friends. We went out. Other than anxiety showing its ugly head, I thought it was a good night. After I drove us back she went outside. I went out to see her and she said I barely talked to her all week and that she made all the effort to reach out. It was half and half, I looked it up. She said I don’t pick up on social cues because I said I was going to go to sleep and walked away after she said okay. I don’t know why she acts like she hates me. I love her. Everything I try to do to benefit my life is to make her proud. I’m sorry I can’t be perfect and I can’t be the best kid she’s ever wanted. I’m sorry her boyftiend won’t marry her and that my dad and her divorsed before I could even walk. I’m sorry I’m me. Either I stay here where I feel unwanted and not welcome or I leave and get bitched at for leaving. No matter what I cannot win. It’s things like that that make me want to kill myself. It can’t be my fault 100% of the time.