Today was the first good day in a while. My moods were manageable. Typically, they are intense and hard to deal with. For example when I was in school if I got a C-, but thought I could have earned a B my mind goes right to how and why I’m a failure. It’s hard to put into words. Have you ever heard the expression seeing the world through rose colored glasses? That’s what depression is like except the roses are dead and the color is shit brown. It clouds nearly every moment of the day. On the other hand, today I felt a lot better. Not suicidal. And it was the exact opposite. Talking, forgiving, open, happy, hyper. I know it probably won’t last, but it was nice for a break.
I’ve scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist. I guess we’ll see how it works out.