So today while driving I had a thought about the meaning of life and purpose and what not like I usually do. Today’s was full of insight. “You’re not unique for your struggles, but don’t be a follower either. Just be. Just be you.”
If you have never seen a YouTube video by Bignoknow please look him up. Here’s a good one. Type in “Bignoknow my problems don’t matter” or click my link, just give it a watch.
I think one thing that gets us when we’re depressed is the thought or belief that we are the only ones (around/present) that are feeling this unexplainable torment inside of us, and that we are being a burden on others if we try to share it out loud. That gets me a lot. That and not being able to express it in words. It makes me both angry and anxious. I suck at identifying feelings and giving them names, but I’m working on it and improving. To me shitty, fucked up, weird, nervous, angry, and happy were the only things I could name. Shitty, fucked up, and weird aren’t feelings though, maybe adjectives to explain the things I didn’t have names for or could bring myself to say. Im learning that it’s okay to be sad and say that I am or was sad. I’m learning to be okay with not being okay. It’s fucking hard, but that’s life. And not in a lonely downer way, but growing and learning are part of life and they’re not always easy, but that’s okay and it’s good.
So with the you’re not unique part, I mean you’re not alone. You’re not weird. You’re not crazy. The don’t be a follower part means you don’t have to play the part. Mental Health related or not. Just because I’m a woman didn’t mean I need to draw my eyebrows on with gooey shit. Just because I have ocd doesn’t mean I need to be obsessed about germs. Just because I might have self harmed didn’t mean it was cutting. Everyone’s story is a little different and that’s a good thing. Just be you and on days when tout dding really know who that is, on those days just be. Be alive.
Before I get too deep and somewhat philosophical I’ll just end it with this.
What happens in life make a us who we are, it shapes us. But the negative doesn’t have to define you. Be you. Be an individual, but do it in a healthy way that will benefit your life.