Can’t Stand Being Me

I’m fucking done. For whatever reason, I’m the one people like to be fucked up to. Some creepy fuck that I worked with asked me for dirty socks because it turns him on and when I said no he didn’t stop asking, or being creepy. Some other mother fucker pulled me on to a log and stuck his tongue in my mouth despite me telling him I didn’t want to be there and needed to leave. Guess what, it happened before that too with another douche bag that pulled me into an elevator and did the same thing, and tried to make me touch his dick. Guess what else…all of these men were in commited relationships at the time. 

The images in my head today were of my dad picking me up by my shirt and slamming me into a door after someone stole my money, and of him shoving me into a different door frame for what ever reason, and him on top of me on a couch hitting my thighs and telling in my face with spit coming out of his mouth. I was at the doctor for my shoulder and still don’t know what’s wrong with it. 

This isn’t a pity party, it’s just facts. I don’t know why the universe picked me. It’s like these are bad enough to fuck me up, but not bad enough for anyone else to think it was actually a problem. So anyway, fuck the world. I really have no hope in having a decent family who gives a fuck about what I think or need or want. So fuck them too. All they do is fight and hate. 

4 thoughts on “Can’t Stand Being Me

  1. Please don’t say that about yourself. For whatever reason you were given some fucked up shit, but it doesn’t have to be that way. You decide how you want to be and how you want your life to be and you take control. And stop being nice to the freaks, that’s why they come for you, your nice to them. You know I love you, and so does your family, no matter how fucked up they can be at times. They really don’t mean to hurt you.

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